Broken vows and machine guns.

Excuse the profanity, my heart’s a little messed up now. 

I was willing. 

To take.

A risk. 

And I’m sorry that I did that. I’m sorry that I put you above every rational feeling that I had. 

I’m sorry. 

I wish I could understand this pain. This hurt. But is there joy in feeling like this. Is there joy in knowing that you can love someone and it won’t be me. You can throw away everything that we felt, that we had for the main fact that physical satisfaction is what you need. Was it real or real for the that particular time. Did I mean something to you. I’m sitting on the floor drenched in my own tears and clouded by confusion. Angry. A victim of my own circumstances, actually this circumstance. You awoke my love with no intention of loving me, and how could I have been so blind. Why was I so blind. What is happening to me is a painful and soul sucking demon. I don’t know if I hate you but excuse the profanity because my heart is broken.